‘I’ do: Graham’s special big blue wedding day
At Discovery, we are big on helping the people we support turn their dreams into reality, so today, here is one such (true life) story…
Graham, a person we support, is an avid churchgoer with a dream to have a big wedding day.
The type we all dream of, including bells, bows, balloons, as well as cake, confetti, a car and everything blue, of course.
However, Graham’s was always going to be different: he wanted to marry himself.
The subject was never far from his lips: “Me, Graham Goodson and me…” Whether that was last week, six weeks ago, two or ten years ago; if you had a conversation with Graham, it would go like this:
“Graham’s getting married soon”
“Oh, are you? What you going to wear?”
“Grab a blue suit.”
“And what are you going to have at your wedding?”
“I’m going to have the bells, I’m going to have the vicar, I’m going to have flowers…”
Graham would take you through every detail of his wedding.
So it was clearly time for the team to all to get involved in being a wedding (support) singer!
Graham had a wish list created including everything he always wanted; he was involved in every single step, right through to the suit he chose. Everything was taken from Graham’s wish list.
And on the recent day Graham walked down the aisle to ‘Amazing Grace’ belting out of the bagpipes, he married himself…
“Me, Graham Goodson and me…”
Below is a video of the big day:
So, how did the happy day happen? And what was it like?
Kerry Enticott, part of the congregation, said:
“Hand on heart, I can honestly say, it was the best wedding I’ve ever been to. Best wedding ever, and I’m not the only person to say so. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life.”
One very person-centred vicar
Graham has a good relationship with his vicar, knowing each other well. Graham’s lost a little bit of mobility over the last few months and the vicar has come out to see him when he hasn’t been able to get to church. He came and talked through all the plans with him, making sure they were all person-centred and put together a personalised service:
- No vows, but it was put to the congregation to say we support Graham with his marriage to the church.
- A ring for Graham
- A chance to bell ring with his friend (Graham and his friend love bell ringing).
A bunch of buttonholes, balloons and bouquets
The team sat together with Graham, looking at the blue flowers and the thistles from Scotland (his favourite place) and made the buttonholes, bouquets and blue and white balloon arch together
One long-lost guest list
His team know he wanted ‘Amazing Grace’ playing on bagpipes as he walked down the aisle, and they managed to source a lovely, generous player, who gave his time for free.
As one attendee said: “As we got out of the car, the vicar was waiting for us. We came up the steps into the church and Graham pulled the bell. And then, as the bagpipe man began to play ‘Amazing Grace’, Graham’s face lit up.
“He took a deep breath and went inside, full of pride. His face was beaming. Written all over it was ‘Oh, my goodness, this is real bagpipes, and they’re playing my favourite song.’ Even now I’m overwhelmed at his response. It was just unbelievable.”
Petals and party poppers
Blue rose petal confetti and party poppers streamed over Graham as he came through the blue and white balloon arch.
One whizzed up wedding car
The (blue) wedding car got decorated with the usual ‘just married’ paraphernalia.
One bespoke wedding cake
Graham carries a Bible with him wherever he goes, so this team made a wedding cake, with Graham on the top with his Bible.
A vintage tea set
Graham had an ornamental church, which looks like St. Michael’s Church, as a wedding present; apt, as he collects church ornaments. And on vintage crockery, guests were served egg sandwiches and teacakes, as well as drinking from tea cups and the tea pot.
The big day speeches
Hannah, Graham’s locality manager, said:
“Graham has a Bluetooth microphone in which he talks and sings into every day. But on this day, he meant business: he took his shirt jacket and tie off and he was thanking everybody for coming to his wedding using this microphone, and going ‘woof woof!’
“Everybody was woof woofing back and loving every minute – almost just as much as Graham!”
Did Graham have a stag do?
Kerry Enticott said:
“Two nights before, Graham and all his friends from two Discovery homes piled into the Street disco; you should have seen his face when the DJ announced Graham was getting married in the morning – I thought it might burst like all those balloons we just blew up!
“It was just full of love; it was just passionate, the whole day, with everything that we’ve spoken about over the years. You have those conversations every day and then seeing the big day arrive. Just fantastic.”
And the big question now, after the wedding day, is: If you had a conversation with him, what would he say?
Perhaps…
“Graham’s married now…”
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